In Your Face

As a mother in '07, you often have to take on new forms of communication to hear from your older children. Young people use instant message (IMs) these days. They just do. Oh sure, our five almost grown sons will call when they need something, and even come home once in a while, but if you want to hear from them more often, you need instant messaging, email, and a cell phone. Trust me on this.

On one extreme, one son (before he moved out) would be back in his room, come up front near my office to graze in the fridge, pass me by mutely, then go back to his room and send me a text message.

The oldest son, the one who made us grandparents, has a cell phone, but he actually prefers the old Ma Bell corded phone. The next four use their technology extensively. It's a good thing they do. As 20-somethings roaming the world, an email or an IM may be all they can manage. In just the past 12 months, I have received text messages and emailed photos from Turkmenistan (Near Iran), the World Cup in Germany, the Superbowl, Brazil's Carnival, Jamaica, Nigeria, South Africa, or helping clean up the aftermath of Katrina on spring break in the Big Easy.

One-on-one communication from your kids: priceless. But, then, someone invented Face Book (www.facebook.com). Unlike My Space, it encourages interactivity and extensive photo albums. If your friend posts an album and you are in it, they tag you and the photo shows up in your album. If you are someone's "friend" you can see their profiles and photos.

While you invite new friends in, your friends also are inviting new people that you may not have considered. As far as I know, nonmembers cannot see your albums and writings, but I repeat, new people are connecting through folks you know all the time.

And, this is why I am writing. My Space gets all the media attention warning young people not to divulge too much information, but few warnings are heard about Face Book. Friends think they are sharing compromising photos with a few friends but you never know which of those friends might wind up being a future employer or a link to one.

Back in my college days, we took a lot of pics (some in compromising positions), but the average number of eyeballs that saw them was a fraction of those that see today's digital photos. On those college nights when we met the porcelain goddess, even if someone took a photo of it, they did not have access to tens of thousands that could see it. Today it is possible.

So at the risk of being the old fogey soon to be kicked off facebook.com, consider this, young people: Only Your Friends Know Your Secrets. Only They will reveal them. Enjoy Face Book(www.FaceBook.com) but resist the temptation to embarrass someone. Better still, resist the temptation to embarrass yourself, because today, cameras are everywhere. If you don't believe me, ask the Ms. America , or American Idol contestants whose business have been dragged all through media headlines. If only they could unring those photos.

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